I hope this story doesn’t come off as too superstitious and, for lack of a better term, woo-woo.
Awhile back, I had a dream that so moved me, I told my fiance about it as soon as I woke. In the dream, I was in an attic with a very old, alarming, disturbing-looking woman. She was, in retrospect, horrible and cadaverous and hideous. In the dream, though, I approached her, brushed back her dry white hair, touched her grey face, and told her she was beautiful. I was not afraid. And she was beautiful.
I told my non-pagan fiance about it, and he said, unprompted, “Maybe it was a goddess.”
My first instinct was to say it was the Morrigan. I’m not sure why–but this woman was clearly associated with death, and was clearly a Cailleach or Badb type figure. She was dying, and she was horrible–but she was beautiful.
On Saturday at ritual (which I will discuss in detail in another post), while an attendant called the Morrigan and led us through a meditation on Her, a crow circled our ritual area, calling loudly as the guest spoke. At one point I caught another grove member’s eyes and we both grinned, thinking the same thing: the Morrigan was with us, quite literally and quite physically. During the meditation, I cheated and opened my eyes, and at that moment, the crow landed in the tree we had designated our World Tree. I watched her call, sitting high in the bare branches, turning her head to the moon against a blue sky gilded with sun-blooded clouds.
Since my dream, I’ve felt called to the Morrigan, and before that I considered her Macha, horse-goddess aspect as a possible patron. I decided today to make a representation of her, and I started my research earlier this evening. I cracked open my trusty (and disgustingly used by its previous owner) copy of Celtic Heritage, flipped to the index, and started at the beginning of the references to the Morrigan.
The page was already dog-eared.
I’m not sure what any of this means — I’ve been working with Brigid as my patroness, and–to be frank–the thought of having the Morrigan as a patroness frightens me a little. But even in my distant Catholic days, I believed very strongly in signs. All this–especially the dream–has not happened for nothing.
Any thoughts, fellow ADF-ers? Have any you had very strange, specific experiences with a deity?