I successfully meditated during a devotional today, rather than just on my own. I’ve noticed that it’s easier to concentrate when I’m really focused on ritual and making my offerings.
I had a really hard time concentrating tonight. It’s frustrating to have a set-back seven weeks in… It took me most of my twenty minutes to grab the feeling of the two powers filling my consciousness and grab onto it. In the future I may try to envision that feeling early on and focus on it in the hope that I can create it by fixating on it.
It went better tonight. I focused on my breath and the blood moving my body. That helped keep me in the moment. I do need to meditate earlier in the day, though, because it was hard to make myself stay alert at nearly midnight.
I meditated as part of my daily devotional today and had another of those moments when things fall into place. In full ritual, we offer thanks to the Earth Mother and ask her to lend us her strength and support during the working. We also (often anyway) make an offering to the gods of inspiration and poetry, asking for the “fire of inspiration” to be lit… Earth power and fire of inspiration: another aspect of the two powers made real in my life.
In case anyone is curious, meditation does not really help with a migraine. Sleep does, however, so I gave up and went to bed.
I again meditated as part of my daily devotionals. I had an odd experience, though. As I was meditating, my middle candle (the one I light for the Nature Spirits) started flickering and making a rather frightening crackling noises. It’s a tiny little votive candle, but this thing was loud. I was a little nervous at first, but I followed my instincts and made my first offering for the Outdwellers. The flickering and the noise stopped. Would I have come to this conclusion if I hadn’t been mid-meditation? I’m not sure. But I was hyper-aware and concentrating on the powers of the world around me, specifically thinking about the Earth Mother, so I was definitely had the earth and the land spirits in my consciousness when it started happening. I’m not sure what to make of this.
Writing about my meditation every day did help keep me honest, but I still missed two days this week. I’m thinking of transitioning to a daily devotional, but how can I commit to doing that if I can’t even keep up with my meditation? I feel good after my rituals, so I’m not sure where the hesitation is coming from. Goal for next week is to meditate every day… Also to write up some of my thoughts about the Two Powers for my own use when writing the essays.